The tumor in Ufi’s leg keeps growing. His mobility is worsening. Friday evening, we decided it was time to make him a ramp.
The ramp is helping him more easily go in an out of the house. For that, we are glad. But the ramp is a sad sign. In my mind, the ramp is the last straw. Once his mobility is compromised to the point where the ramp is no longer enough, I’m afraid that will be the time to say goodbye.
He isn’t really going for walks. He can’t play with his toy. Once Ufi can no longer safely, fairly comfortably go in an out, I will have to decide to let him go.
Even though I know it’s getting closer, I’m not yet heartbroken. He is still happy. He doesn’t seem to be in more pain than he can handle. The last nearly six months have made me more resilient when it comes to Ufi leaving us. It will still be crushing. But the memories we made around the holidays that once seemed impossible, have made me stronger.
Watching him slowly become less functional has, in a weird way, helped me feel better about saying goodbye. Ufi isn’t living Ufi’s life. When Ufi isn’t living a life he enjoys, letting him stop living the life he doesn’t enjoy will be humane.
That day will be traumatic and terrible. But I’m more ready for it than I was when he was diagnosed. In fighting for life as he has fought for everything and everyone he loves, Ufi has managed to give me a gift I never imagined being able to accept. In giving me time to adjust, Ufi has made it easier for me to do what I will someday have to do for him. In that, I’m once again appreciative of what I have gained from this special relationship we will share long after I must do for him what I won’t want to do for either of us.
Ufi is grandma’s special boy.
Ufi only pressure in life now is food. It has been a long 6 month since we found out about his cancer. We have watched his life change so fast. Everyday I watch a little more disappear. When Ufi watches Scorpio run around the yard. I can see in his eyes how sad he he. He once was the master of the yard. Know all he can do is watch. Some times I think he looks at me and wants to ask me why he can’t do the things he use to do. Now when I take him for is walk down to the nature house. Which it isn’t very far. He has to rest, and some times he lose his balance . His back leg is having to work harder because of the cancer. Our house sure going A major change.,and not for the better. With the lost of Emma not long ago, and soon Ufi. I don’t know how I’m going to handle losing him. I know it will be soon, but knowing that isn’t going to make it any easier. I will never be ready to say good bye.
We have been very lucky to have 3of the best dogs anyone could have. The 3 of them got a long so good. We would give them bones and after awhile all 3 of them would change bones. The things they did together has giving us so much more than anyone of us could ask for..
When u have to make that big decision to let Ufi go, I know in my heart it will be best for him, but in that same heart it’s going to kill a little bit of me. I can’t picture him not being here with us. I just don’t know if I can keep going myself ,without my grandson. I love ufi so much and I know he loves us just as much.